Kate | May 10th, 1997- February 3rd, 2024
Katie was an extraordinary young woman who has touched the lives of so many since she was born on the 10th May 1997 in St Louis. Katie approached life in a different way from many of us, she also communicated in her own special ways. She did this by loving us, by hugging us, by sniffing and touching us, and finding her way with signing and facial expressions to let us know exactly how she felt about something. She lived life fully and engaged with us with her unique and individual style and at times with an intensity and speed that had the ability to shock us into awareness and with an eye for detail that claimed her attention long after the rest of us might have moved on.
Katie was strong and determined which meant like another woman of the same name Katy Perry she too could ‘Roar’. During her lifetime Katie, experienced the richness of family life, and her social life, establishing her own rhythms and routines. However, she could also flex into travel and experiences outside of her usual understanding and she did this on her travels to Paris, and at other times in Spain, Portugal, Sicily, where she enjoyed the beach. She also enjoyed the delights of Iceland and Copenhagen too.
When people would see Katie in the street or walking in a park, some of them seemed to feel pity; feeling sorry that she was in some way impaired, or her life was somehow depleted. But nothing could have been further from the reality. Kate’s life was uniquely filled with most of the best things on earth and very little of the bad.
Firstly, and lastly: she could not have been more loved by those who cared for her and by so many people that know her. She could not have given more love, unconditionally, which she expressed with the best hugs.
She never knew hatred, disappointment, or disdain. And while she suffered from prejudice on occasion, what she knew was inclusion, equity and fairness. She never knew death, or grief, or loss but she did know kindness, buckets of it, some of the most wonderful kindnesses we, her parents, have ever witnessed.
These days people often talk about the importance of mindfulness, like it’s something newly discovered or rediscovered having been lost to us in a modern world filled with distraction and busyness. Katie had mindfulness nailed. She lived completely in the moment, taking joy in the seemingly mundane – goats, red flowers and hats, images of the Queen on a five-pound note, white dogs, helicopters. Every time it rained; every umbrella was celebrated. She observed and experienced the world in unique ways that neurotypical people will never get to appreciate.
She brought out the best in other people not just with the love she gave and received, but also in the patience and consideration she got when things weren’t going the way she wanted or expected. She had the most intense willpower and if she didn’t want to do something you’d have a tussle on your hands, but she could learn and grow and found purpose and meaning in new experiences, new places, and new connections.
The sadness comes when we think about things we won’t experience again. Seeing her smile on an early summer’s day eating a sun-warm strawberry. The smell of ketchup on her clothes on the walk home on a Sunday afternoon after rugby or the conditioner brushed into her hair after a bath. The feel of her hard, sharp, pointy chin on my head after a meal or her hand in yours on a walk in the woods. The taste of the Marmite slathered bread crusts she’d leave for you on the picnic table, or the toasted cheese picked off Friday night’s pizza. Hearing her hootling in the garden as it turned to dusk, and the moon made her run and leap and dance.
It’s sad; sorrowful; and grievous that we won’t have these things again but it’s beautiful, joyful and downright miraculous that we had them at all and that we can relive them in our thoughts and dreams of her. And when we remember that she could not have been more loved.
Katie died on February 3rd 2024 at home in Wallingford, Oxfordshire. We will miss and love her forever.